INT. RADIO STATION. SIMON BATES READING INTO A MICROPHONE, A LETTER IN HIS HAND. PLAYING ON THE CD IS THE SCORE OF FRANCO ZEFERELLI'S 1968 FILM, ROMEO AND JULIET.
SIMON BATES (For it is he): This weeks letter is from a young man called Paul. Paul doesn't listen to music stations much, but one of them is Chiltern FM. One of the programmes being a five minute segment called Our Tune, a mawkish piece that yours truly once did on Radio 1 and now broadcasts on the illustrious station that is Chiltern FM.
Well Paul and Chiltern have been involved for some fifteen years now. Rather intermittently of course, but the passion is reciprocated and appreciated.
Paul has one quibble with Chiltern though! It's their insistence of having an affair with Our Tune just about every single day. He is irritated by it and wants to remind Chiltern that, whilst it had many admirers when Our Tune had it's passionate affair with Radio 1, it was disliked by many as well and, as he says, for good reason.
For a start, whilst he understands and sympathises with the many who write in, telling of the horrible experiences they have had in their relationships, and some not so horrible, he feels that the style of Our Tune is, well, exploitative! He finds the choice of background music excessively OTT, and whilst he understands that other film scores, such as Jaws or Lethal Weapon would be worse, he feels that the Romeo and Juliet score is a bit wrong, allowance of copyright nowithstanding.
He also finds Bates's cheesy ads for the programme even more irritating, esp with his signature farewell line "Best have some tissues! (small chuckle) They may well come in handy!" as being a bit, well in bad taste. In all honesty Paul also states that Home Truths, as presented by John Peel, was somewhat better.
Finally, irrevocably, Paul signs off with an admission of guilt. He understands that whilst Simon Bates is annoying at times, he also comes across as a sensitive soul and kindly suggests he tries another brief daytime format, or perhaps a radical overhall of Our Tune!
But deep down in his heart he knows that Chiltern won't give up it's lover. The popularity and success of it is just too much! He feels like muttering Philistines, but instead continues with his work!
So, here for Paul, is the song he requested!